Updated vows for marriage: What we should say to keep our word no matter what.

Updated: Apr 28, 2020

Wise worlds for anyone who is about to get married:

That day was mesmerising.

You still remember every details, every emotion at the sight of the engagement ring.

And now is the D-day. Now is the day you’ve been dreaming for. Now is the day that gives meaning and direction to your life.

This is the day where you will exchange your vows and get officially bonded forever.

The vows exchange is always a special moment. Some will take days to prepare them and rewrite them over and over… You will have 2 to 5 minutes to reveal to your beloved which seeds you are going to plant in your marriage garden. So you better get it right!

My vows when I got married were no different than anyone else.

And as everyone, I promised I would be there, care for him, love him and support him till the very end.

And as many, I have broken my promises. I haven’t kept on my word...

You see, marriage is a big BIG journey. And the things we expect from it have evolved A LOT.

The expectations bucket for marriage is now heavier than ever. And the vows we promise today at the hotel hardly match the context and socio-cultural reality in which we have to build our marital structure.

Promising happiness, support, love, loyalty, and much more over a life time, with the same person, is a bet that only few will win in today’s world.

So what should we promise instead? What can we actually hold to on the long run?

After reflecting on this, here is what I should have said on my own wedding day:

“We are embarking for an incredible journey. I am not sure exactly where and when it will end, but what I can promise you is that I will do my VERY BEST.

I will do my best to understand you.

I will do my best to contribute to your happiness.

I will do my very best to repair is something get broken or damaged along the way.

I will work hard to get fluent in your love language.

I am willing to develop deeply the art of Giving, Sharing, Receiving and Forgiving. And I hope we can practice, improve and maybe master these together.

I promise you today that I will do my very best in this relationship. And all I’m asking you is you to do the same.”

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