The journey of Love: reality VS expectations

Updated: Apr 28, 2020

Love is like a river we need to learn to sail through.

The problem is that most of the time, we sail away without navigation tools, adequate safety gears and even without knowing much about the river itself! And even worse, we believe that the river will take us where we want just by following the current.

We rarely launch ourselves well equipped on the love river.

It seemed great from what we heard and what we've been told. But once we are "in it", it’s a complete different story!

That river is sometimes calm, sometimes agitated. At times the current takes us too fast, and on occasions we have to navigate counter current. There may be a turn we didn’t see coming. There may be turbulences not expected.

Some events can even throw us out of the boat!

Some of us will make it back to the relationship cruise. Others may be washed out to the shore.

Either way, navigating on the love river is certainly a journey that will take you somewhere you did not expect. And even if you launch yourself really well equipped with all gears and knowledge possible, you can never master it 100%. And the key here is to be ok with that.

The truth is, no matter what, we will never be sure 100% of the destination. We will not be able to predict for sure how the journey will look like. And the only realistic way to launch our love embarkation successfully is to be ok with uncertainty and accept the flow of life and all its unpredictability.

You see, one of the main reason things goes wrong in a relationship is that we jump into this journey with a script, a map, a plan, an idealisation about how the cruise is going to be. And most of the time our fantasies rarely match reality.

What I suggest instead, when embarking for this incredible journey, is to learn to be comfortable with the unknown and be curious about it instead of fearful. Be OK with the idea of going somewhere where you're not sure of the destination. Be OK to get into the journey as it unfolds.

So what is the best call here? And what can you do to increase the probability that things will turn right?

Here are some gears i recommand to take with you on-board. They will tremendously help during your journey:

- Take some empathy with you. It will help you in difficult times to see things through a different lens and get a better perspective.

- Get a lot of gratitude to share with this person who gave his/her time and energy to come on board with you.

- Get a “I don’t know and it’s OK” inhaler. You may breath through it at any time.

- Take some “give-and-receive” fertiliser to cultivate and nourish what will flourish during this journey.

- As well, bring some games on board to make the journey exciting and fun.

What you should not take with you:

Avoid to take on board - so you won’t be tempted to pull it out during the journey – the “take-it-for-granted-long-chair”. This item is a plague for any romantic relationship cruise and will significantly put the embarkation at risk of sinking.

Finally, just do your best, be in the moment and see where it takes you. There is nothing more magical and exciting than going somewhere without knowing what is at the very end of the way.

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