When was the last time you bought something quite sophisticated and never took the time to read fully the User Manual ?
That was probably a long time ago.
You see, we all tend to think that all women and all men operate in “a certain way”.
We do believe that once we have been through few relationships we are “experienced” and we know what the other need from us.
And once we are in a relationship with someone for a while, we assume that we know exactly how their “operating system” works.
We press few buttons that we assume should be the right ones and we go with that.
Unfortunately, things don’t really work like this.
In fact, we are all engineered in a different way.
Each and everyone of us has a unique set of needs. Our “like” buttons are not necessarily placed on the same locations. We may have some unexpected “do not press” buttons (triggers-dislikes). And some buttons may be working in one way with someone else, and in another way with you!
In short, we all a have a body map and a mental and emotional operating system different from each other.
So take the time to learn properly each other’s User Manual.
Learn how your partner operates.
Be infinitely curious about each other.
Ask. Try. Experiment together. Communicate!
Let your partner communicate to you how to operate on their system.
In turn, let them know what specifically works for YOU.
They may push sometimes the wrong button by mistake.
Maybe a button is not operational but they keep pressing it.
And what is working NOW may work differently down the track.
LET THEM KNOW. Don’t expect them to read your mind and decode by themselves all your internal matrix because they simply can’t.
You don’t live in each other’s body and in each other’s mind so don’t assume that you know how it may feel.
And once you figured out how things work, let’s not forget the maintenance.
Review REGULARLY and exchange each other’s updates as both of you are continually evolving.
Your operating system will not be the same at 40 years old than it was in your 20s.
It will certainly change for women once you are entering motherhood.
It will be upgraded for sure once you go through a crisis or a major life event.
And it is revised again when going through menopause and andropause.
Your User Manual is evolving as your system is evolving.
Let each other know about the updates, so you too can keep up with each other and prevent break downs along the way.