Learning each other’s User Manual

Updated: May 15

When was the last time you bought something quite sophisticated and never took the time to read the User Manual thoroughly?

That was probably a long time ago.

You see, we all tend to think that all women and all men operate in “a certain way.”

We believe that once we have been through few relationships, we are “experienced,” and we know what the other need from us.

And once we are in a relationship with someone for a while, we assume that we know exactly how their “operating system” works.

We press few buttons that we assume should be the right ones, and we go with that.

Unfortunately, things don’t work like this.

In fact, we are all engineered differently.

Every one of us has a unique set of needs. Our “like” buttons are not necessarily placed on the same place. We may have some unexpected “do not press” buttons (triggers-dislikes). And some buttons may be working in one way with someone else, and in another way with you!

In short, we all have a body map and a mental and emotional operating system different from each other.

So take the time to learn each other’s User Manual properly.

Learn how your partner operates.

Be infinitely curious about each other.

Ask. Try. Experiment together. Dare to ask questions!

Let your partner communicate to you how to operate on their system.

In turn, let them know what works for YOU.

They may sometimes push the wrong button by mistake.

Maybe one of your buttons is not operational, but they keep pressing it.

And what is working NOW may work differently down the track.


Don't expect them to read your mind and decode your internal matrix because they simply can't.

You don't live in each other's body or each other's mind, so you can't assume that you know how it feels.

Your operating system will not be the same at 40 years old as it was in your 20s.

It will undoubtedly change for women once you are entering motherhood.

It will upgrade for sure once you go through a crisis or a significant life event.

And it is revised again when going through menopause and andropause.

Your User Manual is evolving as your system is evolving.

Let each other know about the updates, so you too can keep up with each other and prevent breakdowns along the way.

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